Tag Archives: parenthood

Ridiculous Advices for New Parents

My baby is now 7 month old. It’s been a tough 7 months but whenever baby smiles or achieves a new milestone, I felt that all the hard work and pain is worth it. 

Previously I blogged about nonsense old wives’ tales and today I shall touch on ridiculous advices which I heard throughout these 7 months.

1) Apply breastmilk on every part, literally, of the baby’s body.

Baby has acne: put breastmilk on it and it heals like miracle!

Baby’s eyelashes are short: apply breastmilk on it. I swear that the lashes grew thick and long after a few application! 

Baby is sick: Flu, common cold, fever, etc. No need to see a doctor, just feed him breastmilk! Afterall, breastmilk has all the ready antibodies!

Baby has rashes or eczema: apply breastmilk! It heals like wonder! 

Seriously… breastmilk provides good nutrients and antibodies for the baby through ingestion. But it does not do wonders. If breastmilk has such incredible uses, pharmaceutical company’s would have use it as a base for drug research. 

Breastmilk turns bad after leaving it out for hours in room temp. And you want to apply it to your baby’s face and lashes?!?! It’s like providing buffet for the bacteria.

When baby is sick, parents need to assess the seriousness and bring the baby to a doctor. Plus, every baby is different, so a cold might be normal for some baby, but deadly for the other. So please consult advice from the professionals and not those keyboard warriors. 

2) Tips on speeding up baby’s hair growth

Apply hard liquor! Keep shaving the hair to match the bald spots! Apply breastmilk! Supplement calcium to the baby! Apply coconut oil! 

Gosh… it’s genetics. Hair will eventually grow. Stop doing nonsense to your baby’s head. Stop treat him/her as guinea pig. If these methods work, there won’t be bald men/women anymore. 

Ps: Calcium does not help in hair growth. Protein does.

3) How to make baby’s eyelashes longer and thicker?

Apply breastmilk! Trim the lashes when baby sleeps! 

I tell you what, go find a man/woman with thick and longer lashes, and breed. This will increase the chance of having a baby with such characteristics. 

It’s genetics! If both parents have pathetic lashes, how can you expect your baby’s to be thick and long? It’s like 2 Asian-eyed parents wanting to give birth to a baby with big eyes and double eyelids. =__=”

This reminds me of an advice I heard during pregnancy. Many told me to put up cute Caucasian baby photos in the room and keep looking at it. By doing so, my baby will turn out to be as cute as them. I almost peeped in my pants from laughing too hard. Well, You can stare at the picture till the cows come home and Asian baby will still look Asian. 

4) Baby is teething

Rub salt on the gum, and it will erupt faster! Don’t look at it, or else baby will develop fever or get fussy. It’s pantang, you know?  

Do I even need to comment? *eyeballs rolling*

There are so many more crazy advices and comments readily available. And parents can even swear by them. If coincidentally results turn out to be favourable, they will rush to claim credit. If it doesn’t work, they will blame that your baby is difficult or too different. 

My advice? Consult the professionals when in doubt. Otherwise, let nature takes its course.